I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize