The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
