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I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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