yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
as a side note pls kill me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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