I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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