sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
