its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
