And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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