apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
