Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
