Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
