So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
