How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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