Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
