Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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