I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
