i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
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you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
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Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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