atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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