and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize