And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
A+ Viking dick
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
