5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
