Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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