just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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