I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
