I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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