I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry about my life...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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