i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
