this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
