yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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