Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
