apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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