It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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