I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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