Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
