I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
