She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
