Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
