I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
