Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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