do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You took a bar mat shot.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
