We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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