Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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