Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
