So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
