take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so let's talk penis.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Randomize
