i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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