Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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