Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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