Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
