Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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