You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
