kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
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you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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