So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
