smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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