i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
