My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
