Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Small penises have feelings too.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
