Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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