no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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