I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize