You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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