How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.