I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.