i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Terrible idea I love it
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it