I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
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So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
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He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER