it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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