Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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