Sry I called you an 8
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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