He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize