Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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